To German, Sorry For Causing You Pain

by Jazmine

Five months is too little time for me to bring up the courage to forget you. We really went from texting every second of the day and being excited to hang out every week to going months without speaking to each other and trying to adapt to a new life where we don’t have each other.

I am very deeply sorry for the great pain that I have put on you.

I know you say that I don't understand your pain and what you've been going though since I'm the one that caused all of this, and that I'm not capable of feeling the way you that do.

But I am very sorry and I’m full of regret everyday for taking advantage of such real love that you proved to me everyday that we were together.

I’m so sorry for all of the hurtful words I've ever said to you out of anger and just in general to be spiteful towards you.

I'm sorry for making you believe that love isn't even worth trying anymore.

I know that my love has broken you. But do not close yourself off, or shut yourself down because in the end, you're heart is still yours and you have control of who you let affect it.

Maybe in a future life our paths will cross again.

Maybe it'll takes months or years or even decades. Maybe it's in a future life, who really knows. But in the event that that ever happens, I will make sure to never hurt you the way I did and to never allow anyone to do so.

I won't make any excuses for my behavior. I know what I did was wrong and I regret this every single day.

I wish I had realized this sooner than later and I really hate this. I did a lot of wrong but I want you to know that I am sorry for my selfish ways.

You don't have to read this or respond back to me but I just needed to let everything out and tell you how I really feel.

No matter if I move on or not, there's still going to be a spot for you in my life and I'm always going to be here for you even though I know that it's hard to come to me for things because of all the damage I've caused and because I’m the reason for most of it.

But if you ever feel alone, just know that you can come to me.