My Apology to Timothy

by Frances

Dear Timothy...I'm writing to you through this only because I have cut off all possible ways for me to contact you. Yes, including the accidental FaceTime call a few days ago for which I truly felt deeply sorry. That was just a mistake. I have deleted the app as well, so it will never happen again.)

Again, I'm sorry for everything that has happened and what you have had to endure.

I am glad that you are not going through any pain anymore, or at least I hope you have let go completely just as you said.

Whenever I had an insufferable moment, I just couldn't bear the fact that I once put you through that kind of agony.

I am certainly not worthy of your concern. I'm a terrible person, and I'm sorry that I didn't figure it out before you met me.

Even if you're no longer in pain, you must have been traumatized somehow and you certainly don't deserve any at all.

You are such a wonderful person. How could such thing happen to you? How could I do this to you?

I know I should've moved on long ago, despite all the guilt and regrets.

Since I'm the one who ended our relationship, I really do not have a say in anything, nor do I deserve another chance. Yet, It turned out that I was not as cool as I thought I was.

I might not be able to let go in two month, but it's ok.

How long can a human being hold on to something as vulnerable as love?

I'm quite positive that a year or two is more than enough.

I'm not saying that you are easy to forget. I have been struggling to stop thinking or dreaming about you for quite a while. However, as you mentioned, life goes on.

Just so you know, you are someone who will forever be in my heart, someone whom I can never forget.

Thus, it's definitely going to take a bit longer for me. That's how special you are to me.

Nevertheless, there goes a saying that you can never touch a person's heart if he or she doesn't love you anymore. Besides, considering what I have done as well as all the harassment afterwards, you probably began to detest me by now.

I am writing to you not because I still yearn for a miracle. I am simply here to express my apologies to you.

If I have any inappropriate behaviors in the past few months, I apologize for those, too.

I hope you are doing great in Ohio.

I hope God is with you all the time. I hope that in the future, we both look back and realize God brings out the beauty of a disappointment in life.

I hope you already feel this way, and I hope I feel the same someday.

Love,
Frances