My Apology To All The People In My Life
by J.K.
(US)
I am sorry for how hard I made it to like, love and know me. I felt (feel) everything so deeply. Everything was distorted. I distorted everything. I made everything about me. I apologise to you all. I am sorry I took myself away. You were left thinking I didn't like you. But I hid so I wouldn't hurt you.
I don't trust myself to be the person my heart wants to be. Feels.
I break it for everyone.
I am sorry. It was unacceptable. My tantrums only hurt and bring destruction. Yes, I felt lost and under attack. That is not an excuse. There is no excuse for my bad behaviour. I reacted like a toddler while knowing it was wrong.
I want to be stronger. I want to be responsible for my crap. I want to apologise for my behaviour.
I am sorry.
I promise to put others before my own self serving ego. I will be of service to you. I will be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend. You all deserve that. I love you.
Christina,
Happy Thanksgiving. I was wrong. I took out my resentment and frustrations out on you.
I couldn't see it then. I was so deep and surrounded in my own hurt.
It was not meant to be vindictive, or to harm you. I was out of control and desperate. It did hurt you. It changed everything.
I am sorry for what it did to the family. I was selfish and only thinking of me.
Sorry Rich,
I am so sorry I couldn't be what you needed me to be.
I wanted you to see me for who I had become, not who I was a very long time ago.
I could have apologized for my bad behaviour and cruelty instead of making it about me. It shocked me, because I thought you were the one person that understood how messed up and hurt I was. It was irrelevant.
I was responsible for your pain brother. I am sorry for that. You deserved better.
I wish I had told you before it was too late. I missed you.
Arna,
Sorry for mucking you around for so many years. I couldn't admit I was unable to do what you needed. I couldn't admit I was wrong.
In exchange, I did six times the work and spent nearly as much money as you paid for a project delivered too late and not what you wanted.
So sorry. I should have said sorry and moved on.
Pride, guilt, loss ... EGO prevented me.
Sorry. My actions were wrong, disrespectful, cruel and inexcusable.
Thank you for letting me off the hook. I still wish I had done better. I have learned my lesson.
Thank you.
