My Apology for Lying

by J.
(Hemlock)

I've lied to people all my life. I have done it multiple times for no reason. I have also lied to the one true love in my life and I can't say enough about how sorry I am for hurting her. I deeply apologize and want her to know that.

We have had a beautiful relationship when it's on the upside. When it's on the downside it's really bad in every way. It always falls back on me lying about stupid stuff that doesn't even matter or make sense.

I was given chances to change and have some, but I did it again. Just little things like lying to her about drinking or making up stories that aren't true. We have been through this issue before and she (the girl of my dreams) has told me if it ever happens again that she would be done with me for good.

As I sit here on my couch by myself in tears, I can only think of her. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I just can't stop thinking about her. She really is and was my true love that I have been waiting for all my life.

If I only could have one more chance to be with her it would be totally different. For starters I would never ever lie again and even if I did, I wouldn't lie to her again for ANY reason.

I have learned a big lesson on that. The biggest thing I have learned is don't lie at all and don't hurt the one person in life that you truly love. I might not ever feel for someone again like I feel towards her.

The big picture is that I'm back alone, again, which would have never happened if I would have been honest and truthful. Lying is not worth the pain and emotions I'm going through.

I just want to say I love her with all my heart. I will fight with all my powers and heart to try to get her back. I really want her to forgive me. I will do all I can to get her to forgive me. I love her too much not to. Sad to say but the truth is I'm an emotional wreck.

Again I apologize and sorry can only go so far but I will prove to her how sorry I am. Love you A