I'm Sorry: Our Online Relationship

by I.H.

My Sweetheart Daraksha... I know I caused you a lot of grief and sadness last night. I hurt you in ways which I can't probably imagine. You are right when you say I can't understand you. If I would, I would not do things like these which make you feel so sad. I'm sorry and I am not giving you an excuse here. You know what happened. I have already told you what the reason was.

Instead, I should have let you know that I might not be able to come online when you called me earlier. But baby, think about this-why did I not tell you that?

Because I look forward to chatting with you, I look forward to seeing you on cam, I look forward to hearing your lovely voice, I look forward to us being together if only via webcam.

That's why I wanted to come online although physically my body wasn't permitting me to. I have been falling short on my sleep for the last few days and going to the gym has its own toll.

But my love, this does not in any way mean that I don't care for you. You are my foremost priority in my life.

I won't give you any chance of complaining once you come into my life and start living with me. I will be all yours. Just bear with me for this time when you are not here and we have to continue our relationship online.

You have to understand that our time zones do not match and I can't go to bed early on weekends. All the little entertainment that I have is on the weekends late at night.

I am just a human being and prone to errors. This is not the first time I have done this and this might not be the last time either. But I promise, I am working on it and hopefully you have noticed that there has been a change.

I have been following my words with more actions recently compared to before. Please give me one more chance honey. I need you to have pride in me and not disbelief.

I promise to make an effort to say what I mean and do what I say. If I am unable, then my words don't mean much and my promise is empty.

I was unhappy all day after what happened last night. I made you cry again. As many times as I want you not to cry, I keep making you cry.

This is what I have been giving you since our relationship began and we ended up in different places and can only see each other online. If this continues, I'm scared that the time will come when you will be completely disappointed in me and maybe I deserve that but I still hope that this never happens.

I promise to try my best to change and will love you always both online and off.