I’m Hurting

by TEE
(Loganville, Georgia, U.S.A)

We were so innocent, our love was so strong we could never be separated. You had my heart, I had yours, we smiled laughed and just had fun. Everything we did was out of our so called 'Love' for each other, all the pain and heartaches. I loved you and you loved me. We had the perfect relationship, we were so happy, well that's what I thought.

I didn’t know my actions hurt you so much that everything I did impacted you. I apologized so many times that my apologies don’t mean anything to you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you as happy as you wanted to be. But it was never my fault your unhappiness grew because you stopped loving me. You grew to resent me because I couldn’t provide for you emotionally.

Instead of being the person you needed I became the person you didn’t care about, but you lied about your feelings just to keep me happy. I’m sorry for ever making you feel unwanted. I started of wanting you but ended up needing you. But even though I’m sorry I still hate you for all the pain you have caused me.

You 'LOVE' me but you don’t in fact, you hate me so much you cheated on me.

I tried so hard to insure your happiness but you can’t force someone to love you so I tried to stop loving you for my own safety but it didn’t work, I couldn’t stop. I felt so stupid because I believed we could work. I put your feelings before mine and that's how I ended up hurt. You didn’t even feel the pain I felt for those few weeks never wanting us to end, but all good things must come to an end.

I’m sorry for being your biggest mistake in life from stopping you from truly loving your current girlfriend. I’m sorry that you couldn’t see how happy we could be. I’m sorry for having a broken heart that you couldn’t fix. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.

I’m sorry for breaking your heart but it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t even tear you apart. You moved on. I lied, it’s so hard for me to even stop thinking about you.

I’m sorry that we didn’t work out. But this apology won’t even mean anything to you anymore because to you we had nothing. We manipulated each other, made each other feel so vulnerable, thinking that if we left each other we wouldn’t be able to find anyone else. I’m sorry if I ever hurt you, if I ever caused you to shed a tear. But our past will never be able to be fixed because the way we ruined each other.

We never loved each other, our emotions were just set on fire and we thought that feeling was called love. Love will never try to destroy you try to make you feel like your worthless make you feel like your incapable of anything.

I can’t only blame you even though I never hurt you or caused you pain, I felt as if I did, I felt like I crushed your soul and made you an emotionless human being.

I learned so much from you and I also taught you some things of my own. I hope you are happy. I hope God continues to provide for you and your family. I will never stop loving you. You were my heart but now you will have a place in my heart.

I just wanted an official good bye, closure. Sometimes I still can’t believe we made it this far just to cause each other pain.