I Screwed Up... I'm Sorry.

by Jon
(Virginia)

To my love... This is my first time doing this so here it goes. I'm sorry for everything that I have put you through this past week. The fighting, yelling, lying, I'm sorry for all of that. If I would have just told you the truth from the beginning like a man all of this could have been avoided. I'm disgusted at myself for putting you through so much pain and even though you forgave me I just can't forgive myself that easily.

I know that I have ruined the trust factor in our relationship and I will accept all the consequences that come with it. I literally can't even look at myself in the mirror because I'm ashamed of myself.

You have been through so much pain and heartache in your life already and my job is to be there to comfort you and to show you that there are better guys out there that actually do care and respect a woman for who they are but I screwed up. I made myself look bad and failed at my job.

I know I cant beat myself up over it forever but it just amazes me how you can forgive me after what I have done to you. I just feel like I need to be punished more. Yeah I know you don't hear that too often these days but it's true.

I love you with every bone in my body and I will never do what I did again. You have given me a second chance and I'm not going to take that chance or you for granted because I don't want to know what life is like without you.

Well I'm going to leave it at that and hope that you will find this and read it. I love you beautiful...always have and always will.