From Thumper, Please Forgive Me.

by Aja
(Grand Rapids)

Babe, if I never wronged you I would still find a reason to apologize. But this time I can't even believe myself. You have been nothing but wonderful to me, better to me than I have ever been to myself. How did I thank you? By unloading all of my crazy plus a bag of slap to the face. :( I cannot apologize enough for being me and being how I am with you.

I love you so much more than I know to say, and I won't ruin this apology with excuses why I am the way I am but just know I am who I am mostly because of you. You stood by me as I am, you loved me for me.

You gave me reason to get up and try everyday, you gave me reason to keep fighting and be someone you could be proud of, someone I could be proud to be.

I couldn't ask for a better friend, a better love, a better cheerleader in my corner.


I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, and I don't know why that fact alone is not enough to derail my crazy from you. How could I ever expect more from the very man I credit with saving my life. On more than one occasion.

You are a shocking proof of what God has in store for me and I can totally understand if you would rather us not be friends anymore. If this is too much to have to deal with, I understand. It isn't fair to you. Even I think it might be safer that way so I could never say such horrible things to you.

My issues with love and commitment are just that: my issues, and it was totally unfair for me to try to flip the script.

I'm so sorry for what I did. It was stupid and I regret it. You didn't do anything to deserve that, all you were was good, loyal, and true to me and I threw it all back in your face. If there's any place in your heart to forgive me then please do it.

I love you more than anything in the world and would do anything to turn back time and smother myself with a pillow before I could begin to say any of that mess.

You are a great friend, you are a wonderful person, and you are now and always will be the love of my life. I know I'm young but there are some things you just know for sure. And there are two things that I know for sure, one is that I do love you, with all my heart and soul and two is that I will never forgive myself if I don't apologize for saying those things.

I can't promise I'll change, but I can promise to work on me. I can't promise I'll never need to say I'm sorry again, but I can promise that there is no one else I'd rather have beside me than you.

You're an absolute treasure and I am so sorry. Its me and I'm sorry.
Love, Thumper