Apologizing to my Love

by JB
(North Wales, U.K)

I upset my boyfriend a few weeks ago by getting very very drunk and not acting like myself. I said some nasty things and completely embarrassed myself and him in front of the people we were out with. Understandably, in the morning he broke up with me and ordered me to get my things out of the house by the end of the week.

I am completely and utterly heartbroken and disgusted with myself. He is a truly amazing man. It was so out of character of me to act this way.

I do not blame the alcohol or any other reason or factor: this is all my fault and I take complete responsibility.

In order to apologize I promised him all the usual fare of "I won't drink again" but this sentence is so cliched it lacks any real meaning behind it (even though I do obviously mean it! I don't want to be that person again!) So, I bought him flowers, a PS3 game he wanted and wrote him a song. This didn't work and so for the next week or so I continued to feel depressed and upset with myself.

For Christmas, I intend to give it another go. I have decided to truly put my heart on the line and really go for it in order to show him how much I regret what's happened.

I wrote a love note before we broke up which I still intend on giving him (in order to show him how much I loved, and love, him)and another note explaining how sorry I am, I made a photo booklet of some of our photos together from during our relationship and I made him some cupcakes and cookies.

Last year I returned from living in Spain for the year. During my time there, I wrote a diary. In it I wrote of how much I missed him and every day I make reference to him. Therefore, I am also going to give him these diaries to read in order to see how much he's in my thoughts.

I really hope it works...I miss him so much.

From The Perfect Apology Team:
JB... We wish you all the best and hope things work out for you.

You mentioned you take full responsibility for your actions (a key ingredient when apologizing) but did you relay that information along with a heartfelt apology to your boyfriend?

The gifts, your diary, a memory book... are all great ideas but make sure that they are not replacing your sincere apology or being perceived as the apology.

Make sure you follow the ingredients for a perfect apology that we mention here on the site and deliver it to him face to face along with all the wonderful things you intend to give him.

At that point, you will have done all you can do. The rest will be up to him. We wish you the best and good luck!

Comments for Apologizing to my Love

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What happened?
by: Anonymous

Dear JB,

I am curious to know if it worked. Did you get him back?

I wish I could fix things
by: Anonymous

I was fighting with my boyfriend a lot and I had had enough so I went out to get drunk to clear my mind. I went home and unaware of my mood I went to lay in bed as I lay in bed I go on Facebook and I don't know who I was talking to so I just spoke to the first person I saw on my chat who happened to be my boyfriend's best friend. I said I wanted sex but I wasn't being serious. But after this happened I get a text from my boyfriend saying he saw what I did...his best friend showed it to him. Then he said if I loved him I would not have said those things but I had told him the day before I did this that I feel guilty and I am sorry for what I did. He broke up with me.

It will be OK
by: Anonymous

For everyone out there it's not the end of the road just a bend in the road. Don't beat yourself up thinking that you've done something wrong. We all make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. Apologize and move on that's all you can do.

I feel horrible
by: Anonymous

I'm going through the same situation... I got really drunk and did a lot of embarrassing things at my boyfriend's party while his family was around. I didn't mean to get drunk, it just happened so fast! One of my friends told me I even said a lot of disrespectful things to my boyfriend.

I feel horrible for embarrassing him--especially in front of his friends and family. It was so out of character for me but I'm really gonna try not to drink again. I can't sacrifice losing the love of my life over some drinks.

I'm also sad
by: Anonymous

I am also a victim of that too. My guy came to my place and wanted to see me and we started to talk then it started to be like quarreling and it seems he doesn't trust me and thinks I'm cheating on him but I'm not. I tried to touch him but he was just shouting at me to leave him alone and lastly he said go home, your dad is in whilst I and him both know my dad doesn't come around at that time so I became angry and walked away and now he doesn't want to see me again. I don't know what to do.

Sad
by: Sophie

I'm in the same situation right now. I miss him so much! And hes my 1st love. I've made a lot of mistakes in the past that I never got to explain to him because I was scared that I couldn't find the words and was scared of what his reaction would be. So I've decided to write it all down like you did. And just basically tell him how much he means to me.

When I've had a drink I don't act myself either. I get to the point where I'm legless and can't see what I'm doing or who I'm with. My body cant handle it 1 bit.

Since the split I've not turned to the drink like I would of done a long time ago because I've suffered with depression for a long period. And also if you've heard of it I suffer with Cystic Fibrosis so you can understand why I chose to drink cos I couldn't be bothered looking after myself and I didn't want to live anymore.I still have that problem now.

I'm 20 now and through the years Ive been bullied cos of it. But my ex isn't like that. And that's a reason why I'm in love with him cos he's the only guy that's had respect 4 me :(. And never treated me like I was an outsider which is what I feel like anyway. I'm trying so hard to get him back and I really hope he will forgive me for the bad things I did.

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