An Apology To The Love Of A Lifetime....

by Justin
(Johnston, IA)

To the love of my life... If I had the ability to turn back time and take back everything that happened I would do it in a flash and never think that what we have, and had, could never be taken away by my selfish acts or my demeanor. I can see your pain and anguish that I have caused you by my actions and fully accept ALL responsibility and repercussions of my actions.

You have always been the best part of me, the best match for me I could have ever asked for and the best mother to my kids that could have ever been made. Your inner will and strength is something to marvel on and I have always held onto those traits of yours during all my insecurities that have played mind games with me and led to me being such a horrible person and husband to you and dad to our kids.

Saying I am sorry for treating you the way I have and do, and for what I did, is the understatement of a lifetime. You are and will always be the one person I could count on, the best friend I always wanted and needed, and my actions have destroyed us as a couple, friendship, and lovers.

I have taken the last 10 years of our life and crumpled it and am on the verge of losing you and our family because of my actions and selfishness.

I have broken us in almost an irreparable way and for that I am and will always be eternally sorry and always try to make it up to you. The fact is, I thoroughly enjoy telling people how we first met as kids, me running into a parked car, and how so many years later I saw you walk into your mom’s house and was thoroughly and blindly smitten and without even talking to you knew I had to have you.

I have taken that perfect story and turned it upside down by my actions. It is a story that not many people in this world can tell, have experienced, and will ever think about. It is our story, one that is perfect and should be made into a story of a lifetime of love separated by time and space.

I cannot even describe the vile taste I get in my mouth when I think I could possibly lose you forever and the thoughts that come along with it are even more bleak and disparaging. I do not want to end up like anyone we know…

You have given me the best 10 years I could of have asked for and completed me in every aspect and fulfilled every facet of me completely.

You are the light of my life, the love of my life and something I desperately need to have at all times and when I think about not having you it leaves me in a pit of eternal hell and one that is so bleak and discouraging that it does not need to be thought about.

My love, I am throwing myself at your mercy, begging and pleading with you to see the potential we still have, the amazing life we can still create with each other, and the amazing life we already do have. I have no right to expect anything, or demand anything from you as I deserve everything that is happening and anything you decide is something that I caused.

Forever, eternally your husband,
Justin

I love you more than any words or expressions can ever express...