An Apology Letter to the Love of My Life

It's 2am and I am in bed thinking about you, again. I'm thinking about what we could have been. Before I pour out my entire heart and soul to you, I want to let you know that you are the love of my life. I didn't know you so well anymore and the distance scared me so much. We were so close yet so far away in distance.

I didn't want you to take your life away from where you are, even though I knew you would. I didn't want to have your son who I adore, start over again, in a different state, find new friends and new interests, even though he said it was okay.

I never knew my feelings for you would continue to be so strong as they have all of these years. I didn't know a lot, until I saw you. Then it all came to light, you are the one for me and I don't know what to do right now. I am trying to figure out why my mind and heart cannot stop thinking and feeling the way I do. I just have to realize that maybe I really blew it this time....maybe it just is what it is...but I don't want it to be that way.

I am so sorry for everything I have put you through. I am living through the consequences now. You are the true love of my life and I am so afraid that I will never get you back.

I know my actions have never made sense to you but at the time, I did what I thought was right for me and my family. I had to finish what I started. With my heart, I made a huge mistake and although I followed through with my divorce, I still let him in my life because of the type of person I am, forgiving and not wanting to see him on the street. When he needs a place to sleep I am here, when he needs food I am here...that is just who I am.

You are the same way too...you have told me that yourself. I realize now that you are what's right for me. Please forgive me.

I want to start over and finally give us a chance to live our lives together, regardless of where it may be. I don't care how far away we are from each other or even if you don't wish to speak to me right now. I will always find you, let you know that I love you, and do any and absolutely everything to keep you in my life.

I love my kids, my grand kids and your sons with every beat of my heart. The relationships I have with them will forever be with me and I will never leave them, not for anything.

I have recently had a little push by someone who I never expected to give me advice. I have peace in my life now because of that and thought about life even more and that is another reason I am writing this to you.

I finally found myself, and finally am over the pain I was going through after my horrible divorce. I will give you everything I have because I can't imagine myself with anyone else.

You may not believe this but it's true. You have my heart.