An Alcoholic's Apology Letter To His Son

My dear son... I am deeply sorry for being an alcoholic for your entire childhood, all the way up to now when you are 15. You are such a good, gentle, kind-hearted person, and you didn't deserve a mean, yelling, screaming, abusive father like me. I don't know if you have noticed that I've quit drinking now.

I haven't had any alcohol for 7 months. I want to somehow make everything up to you, to repair all the damage I've done.

I was so horrible, I don't blame you if you have a hard time forgiving me. I am trying hard to change, to be a person who isn't mean, but instead one who shows his love.

I wish I could go back in time, and have stopped drinking the moment you were born, so that I could have given you the loving home to grow up in that you deserved. All I can do is be a changed man from now on, and hope and pray that you won't think of me with bitterness and hatred, as you finish high school and then go out on your own.

I did horrible things. I threw dishes that smashed into the wall. I yelled and screamed at your mother all the time. When we moved into this new house last summer, I drank every night, and yelled and screamed every night. One night my yelling was so bad that you all were too afraid to sleep here, so you went to a hotel.

When I woke up in the morning, I felt such guilt and shame, and that was the day I stopped drinking. I never want to be that man again. I want to be a good man; a man like you.

I am so sorry, my only son, I love you so much.

Comments for An Alcoholic's Apology Letter To His Son

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Nothing but Regret
by: Jim

For anyone out there in the same position. I destroyed my family with my alcoholism and it took me way too long to apologize to them and get the help I needed.

They tried many times but finally had no choice to give up on me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Hitting rock bottom and facing life without my family and kids was more than my weak, alcoholic self could take. So I (not the kids or wife) went to get help.

The despair was overwhelming and I never thought I could change things but everything slowly turned around. It won't be quick or easy but please believe me when I say things will change. Things will get better and one day you will feel that life is worth living and participating in again.

One step at a time, things will come into focus for you so please, I know the pain you are in, I know the hurt and shame at what you've become.

The dad who wrote this letter and I both were able to change and so can you. We aren't special. Do it for your kids and do it for yourself.

Friends of Bill & Friends of Dorothy will support you no matter where or what stage you're at. Find a meeting if you need help, Friends of Bill will be my friends for life and I am so grateful.

An alcoholic
by: AnonymousTamy

Please, I need help to heal my two sons. I was an alcoholic most of their life off and on--now they are grown, my son moved without telling me, I cannot find him, and my other son moved.

We were talking, but he is angry, as he won't tell me so, I have only been sober for 9 months. I want to be a family, I want to mend the pain. I have much guilt, grief, missing, sadness.

From another ex-alcoholic and sober soul
by: Helena

My heart goes out to you and your son. Although my drinking manifested itself in a different way than yours, my family suffered very much too.

This was over five years ago now and I, like you, hit rock bottom when I finally realized what I was doing to my family as well as myself. It was an extremely difficult time.

It took them time but they finally came back to me and our relationships are stronger than ever. It was my actions over time that proved to them that I had changed, my words only opened the door to the possibility.

You've taken the most important first step the day you stopped drinking and realized what the alcohol and being an alcoholic had done to your son and family. The rest will heal with time.

Stay the course and forgive yourself for what's been done but never forget. It's what will keep you strong and the new man that you've become.

Bless you and your family.

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