A Love That I Ruined

by Noura
(Houston )

Hi Michaelangelo...I know I messed up a lot, and I know I ruined any chances of us being together. I know that I hurt you and really betrayed your trust, and I know trust can't be earned back easily and even if it is, it will not be the same. OK so I'm really sorry for everything that went down between us. I never really asked you how what I did made you feel but I'm guessing it made you feel insecure, or not enough, or mad. I'm not sure, but I know I would feel like that If I was in your place.

I really tried to fix things until I really couldn't and then I decided to drop everything and move on. You can’t force a love that's not there.

You are such an important person in my life, and even when you are not in my life for a certain amount of time, I never forget how you make me feel or what you taught me. I never speak about this but you showed me a lot.

You made me feel like I was worth more than just my body. Sad to say but you were the first guy to ever make me feel like you didn't want anything out of me. You didn't want to use me for anything.

In my next relationship I want someone just like you, which probably won’t happen because you're rare. You don't compare to any of the guys out there. I swear you are such a gentleman and who ever gets the privilege to love you next is the luckiest girl.

But anyways, you showed me everything I would want in a guy. You're kind and caring and loving and sweet there aren't even words to describe you.

You have such a kind heart and I wish I could be more like you. Thank you for always being here.

If I'm being 100% honest here I feel like I'm not worthy of your time, your love, your attention or affection. I'm not a terrible person but half the time I don't act right.

I feel like I'm not enough for you and I never was.

It's crazy because I'm always so confident in myself and I always feel like these boys aren't good enough for me so I never settle. But with you it's the complete opposite.

I hung out with you one time and I felt so insecure for no reason. I felt like you could just see all the flaws I didn't want you to see. It's not a good thing but I don’t feel that way with any other person ever.

I promise to never forget that you had a huge impact on me. I'm really grateful I got to know someone like you :)

I will forever wish you the best no matter how many times you get blocked and I want you to know you can always come to me with anything and everything even though I'm sure you won't after everything.

But, if things ever go downhill and you need a last resort I'm always here no matter the circumstances, just like how you were with me.

Thank you for everything and I love you forever.

- Noura