A Letter of Amends

by Erroneous Maximus
(CA)

I am writing this letter of amends in hopes that it will give you strength and encouragement. It is what I had intended to give to you all along but I failed miserably. It is a shame that you had to seek it elsewhere because I did not give it to you.

I hope this helps to heal your soul to know that I understand how I affected you. I behaved in a self centered, manipulative, selfish, and unkind manner. Everything I acted like I projected onto you. Yet, you remained true to your character and over-looked my behaviors.

I accused you of treating your family unkind when all along it was I who treated mine and yours unkind. I complained about no having enough of your attention when it was all you were doing. You worked so patiently for my benefit.

I should have thanked you but instead I complained. I shared what should have been private between us with others when I knew better. It must have been embarrassing for you.

When you were trying to keep it together I was doing everything I could to cut the cord. I did not dare believe in your dedication or give you the trust you rightfully deserved. It must have been so frustrating for you.

Anything I complained about is so small to me now. I regret not cherishing you when I should have and could have. You deserve it everyday!

My unhappiness tested your patience continually.

In truth I was unhappy with myself and wondered what you were doing with me. You were trying to make a Godless woman happy, not an enviable position. Yet , you still protected me and chose to look at my goodness while everyone else couldn't do it anymore.

By being you I see an example of how I need to be and what needs changing in me. I am so grateful for that.

I've always known that you are wonderful yet I pushed what I knew in my heart aside. Everyday it becomes clearer. I just didn't know how wonderful! Words can not do justice to how I feel about you and what you've done.

I am truly regretful for the way I treated you. You did not deserve unkind treatment because you were the bright spot in my life. You were the one I knew would help me become human again. I just never told you. I do regret it.

Is there anything that I can do that would help you? Or if you have a request please ask and I will do my very best.